Adoption is for older kids, too ? Fertility and Infertility Research News ...

Here?s a daunting fact: Youths who age out of foster care are much more likely to drop out of school, wind up homeless, in jail or with an unintended pregnancy.

In 1998, about 17,300 youths in foster care nationally were on their own when they turned 18, according to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. That number grew to 28,000 in 2010.

Older teens need a ?forever? home as much as younger children, said Diana Tolstedt, a Wendy?s Wonderful Kids recruiter in Billings.

?I think before, people would say if they?re doing OK and they?re 16 and they?re in a foster home, just leave them until they age out,? Toldstedt said. ?Well, these kids, they?re 16 and they?re saying they want a family.?

Tolstedt has worked for Lutheran Social Services, a part of St. John?s Lutheran Ministries, since 2005. She?s spent half her time helping find families to adopt the older kids she works with, thanks to an initial grant from the Dave Thomas nonprofit.

The other half of her time has been focused on doing parent and adoption case work for Lutheran Social Services. Now, an additional $67,500 grant will allow Tolstedt to recruit full time, expanding her work from Billings to Eastern Montana.

Her work will take her north to Wolf Point, Glasgow and Havre, east to Sidney and Miles City and towns in southeastern Montana. That will double her caseload to 25 mostly 14- and 15-year-olds, and boost the number she?s actively recruiting for to about 15.

Building relationships

?A big part of the program is building a relationship with the social workers, who deal with the cases and the foster families, and who just don?t have time to do specific things with the kids in recruitment,? Tolstedt said.

She works with Child and Family Services of the Department of Health and Human Services for the state of Montana.

But Tolstedt also spends a lot of her time getting to know the kids, meeting with them at least once a month, and studying their case files so she can find a family who would be a good fit.

One misconception many people have about children in foster care is that they?ve done something wrong to wind up away from their own families.

?They?re only in care because their parents could not or would not care for them in the way that children should be cared for,? Toldstedt said. ?They haven?t done anything, and they didn?t enter foster care because something was wrong with them.?

But being passed from one foster family to another can tend to lower a child?s self-image. They also may develop behaviors or strategies to deal with the uncertainties of their lives.

That?s where finding the right family comes in, she said.

Sheila Howe, director of adoption services for Lutheran Social Services, said Tolstedt?s work can help older kids in foster care know that someone is on their side.

Working for them

?It lets them know that someone is really working for them to secure them a family, and that?s an important thing to happen to them and that they?re worthy of that,? Howe said.

Another misconception, Howe added, is that older kids aren?t interested in adoption. That might come, she said, from the idea that older teens tend to push away from their families in an attempt to gain their independence.

?But for many kids who are in the foster care system, in some ways they know so much more about the importance of family and what that means,? she said.

It means not having to move again, being able to go on vacation with their family, having someone to cheer for them at games or over a good grade. It also means someone?s there to hold their hand when they experience disappointment.

Tolstedt works to get out information on the youths she works with so prospective families can find them. That includes the television spots called ?A Waiting Child? and the Heart Gallery in Rimrock Mall, where their faces and their stories are on display.

She wants to do all she can to help them find homes they can call their own.

?No child is unadoptable,? Tolstedt said. ?They just haven?t been adopted.?

She has helped 22 children find permanent, loving homes. Now she can expand her efforts to help more of them.

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Adoption is for older kids, too

Source: http://www.fertilityportal.com/adoption/adoption-is-for-older-kids-too.php

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